The preview had divinethought by 55.4 and said it would like that number to be a typo by Sunday. sammyyy29 won by 39.84. Also: Joe Burrow scored 49.48, four teams share first place, and the desk's franchise lost a fourth straight to the team it is now 1–7 against.
The grading first. The Week 8 preview went 2–3. It had jgirsby and mmcatee01 right. It missed jsdivine, who lost by 13.50, and its own franchise, which lost by 24.22. Then there is divinethought, picked by 55.4 on Wednesday's lineups. The desk wrote that it would like that number to be a typo by Sunday, and it was, by 95.24 points. The desk is 23–12 on the season and has asked to be more careful about what it wishes for.
The preview counted four sammyyy29 starters on a bye. On Thursday afternoon, between 4:59 and 5:03, she added Ladd McConkey, Rome Odunze and T.J. Hockenson, which fixed three of them in four minutes. BrennaLynne needed seven. Odunze, released by alyssagenther on Tuesday, started and scored 12.70. Hockenson scored 15.80 at FLEX. The fourth bye stayed: Ka'imi Fairbairn kicked for Houston, Houston was off, and the slot scored 0.00. It did not matter.
The quarterback file opened last week, when Bryce Young started and Kirk Cousins scored 24.40 on the bench. This week Cousins started and scored 34.18, with Young at 12.40 on the bench. sammyyy29 learns last week's lesson one week late, and this week one week late was right on time. The Jacksonville defense added 20.00 and Jameson Williams 17.00. Second win of the season, 2–6.
The week's lowest score belongs to divinethought, and the grief paragraph comes with it. Jared Goff scored 11.04, Bijan Robinson 7.60 and Ashton Jeanty 10.30. Drake London and Parker Washington combined for 5.40 at receiver. Jason Myers kicked for 1.00 while Jake Elliott, the Monday kicker pickup, kicked for 4.00 on the bench. Tetairoa McMillan was benched again and scored 11.80 there, more than both starting receivers together. The screen is off again. Harold Fannin scored 23.40 at tight end, the only number on the page that looks like Week 7. The best nine, 91.74, still loses by 26.84. divinethought is 5–3 and still tied for first, which says more about the league than about Sunday.
Disclosure: the desk's own franchise. The preview picked it, for the first time in three tries, against a 6–1 series. The series is now 7–1. Jayden Daniels started and scored 16.98. Ja'Marr Chase caught his first 100-yard game of the year and scored 31.10, and the Pittsburgh defense added 21.00. Omar Cooper played 50 snaps and was not targeted once: 0.00. Will Reichard attempted one field goal, from 57 yards on the opening drive, and missed: 0.00. Rachaad White (14.00) and Germie Bernard (8.00) sat while KC Concepcion (6.70) and Cooper started, which leaves 15.30 on the bench. The best nine, 136.08, still loses by 8.92.
The argument came back this week. Analytics wanted Kyle Pitts, the $1 waiver claim, at tight end. The gut kept Dalton Kincaid. Kincaid scored 18.60 with a touchdown. Pitts scored 2.60. In Week 6 analytics won the argument and lost the game. In Week 8 the gut won the argument and the game was lost anyway. The two are still being kept in separate rooms, and only one of them has asked for a lawyer. Four straight losses, 3–5.
ITouchd0wnThere won with 29.20 on his own bench. Tyler Allgeier scored 36.10 there, the most of any bench player in the league, and the best nine was 174.20. In the lineup, Bhayshul Tuten scored 29.90 and Trey McBride 20.20. Geno Smith, Wednesday's $0 claim, started over Caleb Williams and was right by 6.00. Jonah Coleman scored 20.40 at FLEX. Three straight wins, 5–3, and a share of first place.
The week's high score and its biggest margin, 42.18. Joe Burrow threw for 462 yards and five touchdowns and scored 49.48, the best individual line of the week. Tee Higgins caught two of them, for 37.50. Patrick Mahomes scored 31.40 on the bench, so the Burrow decision was right by 18.08, and it was the right call for a second straight week. Brandon Aubrey kicked for 12.00 and Andy Borregales for 5.00 on the other side, and the belief system has recorded that. Luther Burden scored 18.60 on the bench. Three straight wins, 4–4, and still not one FAAB dollar spent.
BrennaLynne's planning held up: the Kansas City defense, added a week early for Houston's bye, started (1.00), and Michael Penix was the only quarterback on the roster with a game. Penix threw four interceptions in the rain in Tampa and scored −1.90. Chuba Hubbard scored 24.90, Jaxon Smith-Njigba 23.80 on Monday night and Matthew Golden 20.90. DeMario Douglas scored 16.60 on the bench. Even the best nine, 122.80, loses by 35.38. The three-game streak is over, 3–5.
The week's closest game. The carousel picked Drake Maye (26.46) over Trevor Lawrence (25.40, on the bench), and was right by 1.06. Three weeks it held still on the wrong quarterback, once it moved onto the wrong one, and this week it landed on the right one by a single point. Dawnieo also replaced the 49ers defense, on a bye, with the Raiders' at 2am Sunday (9.00). Tony Pollard scored 28.70 at FLEX and Jahmyr Gibbs 24.80. Dawnieo's lineup was the best nine on the roster to the hundredth of a point: 145.86, with nothing left on the bench. 4–4.
jsdivine did what the preview asked. Josh Allen came off the bench and started (30.56), and the preview had jsdivine by 10.9 with Allen in. Jordan Love scored 27.50 on the bench anyway. The bench quarterback file is right side out again. Josh Jacobs scored 23.20 and James Cook 18.10. Javonte Williams scored 6.70 and the Denver defense 2.00. Even the best nine, 140.56, loses by 5.30. jsdivine still leads the league in points, at 1,134.38, and is 5–3.
Brock Purdy was on the 49ers' bye, so the chair took the week off. Matthew Stafford started and scored 10.28. The rest of the lineup made up for it: Brock Bowers 28.20, D'Andre Swift 27.90 with three touchdowns on Monday night, Puka Nacua 25.00 and Braelon Allen 23.30 at FLEX. Michael Wilson, who moved into the lineup by Wednesday night, was back on the bench on Sunday and scored 26.80 there. Colston Loveland added 11.50 behind Bowers. jgirsby left 26.80 on the bench and won by 40.08. 5–3, and 1,096.64 points, second in the league.
alyssagenther's lineup was the one the preview said it should be, and it lost by 40.08 anyway. Dak Prescott scored 21.80 and Jaylen Warren 21.30. Garrett Wilson added 14.30, and the Green Bay defense, a $0 claim from Thursday, 12.00. Three byes took Christian McCaffrey, Nico Collins and Dalton Schultz out of the lineup, and Spencer Shrader kicked for 1.00. Denzel Boston scored 9.70 on the bench. 4–4.
No jokes in this section. Status is as of Tuesday and will move; check the official reports before setting a lineup.
The desk wishes every one of them a quick recovery.
Thirteen winning claims since the last issue, for $55. Wednesday morning's run took $44 of it: Cam Skattebo ($22, jsdivine, for Xavier Worthy, over alyssagenther's $6), Caleb Douglas ($15, ITouchd0wnThere, for Wan'Dale Robinson, over sammyyy29's $7), and Jordan Mason ($5, for J.K. Dobbins) plus the Cincinnati defense ($2) for jgirsby. Later in the week, ITouchd0wnThere paid $5 for Kyle Monangai, released Emanuel Wilson, the $1 running back from Week 4, to make room, and paid $5 more for Seth McGowan. The desk paid $1 for Kyle Pitts; the result is covered above. The rest went for $0: Geno Smith (ITouchd0wnThere), Zonovan Knight, Dalton Schultz and the Green Bay defense (alyssagenther), the Raiders defense (Dawnieo) and the Lions defense (the desk). ITouchd0wnThere has spent $91 of $100, the most in the league. The league is at $292 for the season, and mmcatee01, sammyyy29 and BrennaLynne have spent none of it.
Free agency: sammyyy29's four minutes are covered above. ITouchd0wnThere released David Montgomery on Saturday. jsdivine released Kyle Monangai, and the desk released Bo Nix, both on Wednesday evening. alyssagenther released Rome Odunze Tuesday, and he started for sammyyy29 on Sunday. Trades: none.
D1LLIGAF (3-5) vs jsdivine (5-3) — four straight losses against two straight. The analytics department and the gut have been asked to agree on something before Saturday.
alyssagenther (4-4) vs Dawnieo (4-4) — two .500 teams, and the carousel has to choose again.
ITouchd0wnThere (5-3) vs sammyyy29 (2-6) — three straight wins against the team that just beat first place.
jgirsby (5-3) vs BrennaLynne (3-5) — Brock Purdy is back from the bye, and so is the chair.
mmcatee01 (4-4) vs divinethought (5-3) — the week's high score against the week's low, and a three-game streak against a share of first.